A little boy asked his grandmother why life is sometimes so painful.
His grandmother looked at him, considering a moment before speaking. “We all have an eagle and a serpent inside of us. The serpent brings thoughts and feelings of worthlessness, and the idea that it is other people that cause us to feel that way.”
She paused, and then continued. “The eagle flies high, sees far, and hopes to learn from the Great Spirit and to follow the Spirit’s way.”
“My grandson, life gets difficult during those times when the eagle and the serpent are locked in a necessary and mortal struggle to the finish.”
The grandson pondered for a while what his grandmother just told him. Then he asked, “Which one wins?”
Grandmother answered, “The one you feed wins.”
---Adapted from a story about two wolves fighting within us.
I have never met anyone yet that doesn't immediately understand this story. It is a basic dynamic each person deals with over and over. This inner dynamic is a key understanding that helps couples have compassion for each other. Often times when it seems our partner is arguing with us, they are really engaged in the inner struggle of which this simple story describes. And often we take our inner turmoil out on those around us, particularly those we say we love.
Learning to recognize, monitor, and regulate this inner personal relationship will go a long way in helping improve our external relationships.
