Well-functioning vs Dysfunctional

A well-functioning relationship is most appropriately viewed within the context of:

1) the individual partners
2) the couple
3) and the couple's environment

In a healthy couple relationship both individuals contribute to the well-being of the relationship. This means that the couple solves problems and makes decisions effectively, creates a sense of caring and intimacy, communicates constructively, and partakes as a couple in a variety of engaging and rewarding pursuits. Additionally, a healthy couple relationship promotes the growth and well-being of each of the partners in both the day-to-day functioning and long term functioning. The relationship should meet each individuals' needs, such as the need to make individual decisions, the need to be alone, the need to have a separate social life (like spending time with friends and without the partner). And finally, a healthy relationship is one that gives back to the larger society or community- for example, becoming involved in social, economic, or educational causes.

By definition, dysfunctional relationships function the opposite of healthy relationship. Partners might injure each other physically and/or psychologically. Individuals in a maladaptive relationship sew seeds of mistrust, are not supportive of their partner's need for alone time, are often controlling, and seek to exercise power over their partner. Negative behaviors include name calling, belittling, ignoring, accusing, yelling, physical aggression, undermining, to name a few.

If you are involved in a dysfunctional relationship, get professional help now. Get counseling, read some self-help books about relationships, go to a workshop about enhancing relationships, or seek out some other avenue to make your relationship a healthy one.