Lying or Loving--Which is it?
by Susie and Otto Collins
At one of our workshops , the women in the group all agreed that they grew up with the expectation that they would be "nice" and make everyone in the family feel good. They were not taught to speak their truth but rather hide what they were thinking in order to keep the peace.
Most people believe they are being loving when they withhold perceived unpleasant information from their partner, spouse or friends.
So the questions is--do you tell that other person how you feel in all situations? If you don't, is that being loving or is that lying to the other person?
Bell Hooks, in her book "All About Love," would say that it's lying. She says, "Lying has become so much the accepted norm that people lie even when it would be simpler to tell the truth." She goes on to say that "In today's world we are taught to fear the truth, to believe it always hurts."
(continued here)
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